On May 15th of 2012 I lost my first Doberman Pinscher, Boris. Very suddenly.
Soon after that I wrote a gut-spill blog post titled “Mid-May-Mourning” to this blog.
Today, on November 30, I’ve lost my second Doberman Pinscher, Ballack. Once again, very suddenly.
And once again, a gut-spill post.
Losing Ballack has been a euphoric life experience.
For the first time since April of 2000, when I was just a 24 year old young man, I find myself Doberman-ownerless at 41.
Quite frankly, it sucks. Ballack was the definition of man’s best friend. And there is an emptiness lurking inside me I haven’t felt before, now that he is gone.
Not even a woman has penetrated my heart like my Dobermans have.
Nonetheless, just another life lesson learned of how fast situations can do a 180 on you. Just like that.
It was only a few days ago that Ballack was practically ripping my arm out-of-socket playing tug-o-war with his rope. Or he was begging me to throw his damn ball just one more time into my backyard. And only few days after he would lash out and bite me on my right wrist in the most well-deserving, yet immediately regretful manner, he ever had done before. He didn’t want to, he had to. I made him do it. And I totally deserved it, too. Trust me. I was pushing his buttons and questioning his toughness. Encouraging him to be the dog that God made him to be, and he responded without hesitation. Tough love, we shall call it. Ballack always reciprocated in that department. And I loved him for that. Tough love. Story of both our lives.
I held that dog in my arms, our eyes locked, as he breathed his last breath. I felt the tremors that inhibited his body the last 24 hours of his life immediately cease. The rest of his body’s muscles went limp, and I felt his soul leave his body. His eyes still partially open looking at mine, but I knew he was gone. I closed them with my fingers. And thought, he’s…
Back to where Boris is.
Where Astro is.
Where Cleo is.
Where Shelby will eventually be.
And where I will hopefully end up, too.
After his passing, I held my Ballack for the last time, for what seemed like an eternity, as memories flooded my mind of his 8 short years of life.
And as I sit here and beat the shit out my keyboard – only 4 beers into his post-death mourning charade – with Ballack’s choke collar wrapped ever-so-gracefully around my left hand, and my mind and heart shaken to the core, I can tell you this: Dogs are God’s greatest creation of life, ever. Period.
If ever you need to know what true LOVE is, own a dog.
If ever you need to know what true FAITHFULNESS is, own a dog.
If ever you need to know what true DEVOTION is, own a dog.
If ever you need to know what God’s GREATEST GIFT to man is, own a dog.
And, if by chance, you ever require a dog who will compete with you in attitude, energy, strength, toughness, fearlessness or devotion, own a Doberman Pinscher.
Rest in peace my old boy.
As I said it once before, “see you on the other side old man…”
